[My views are my own]
“Jaison . . . sometimes in life you just have to eat shit.”
Advice (that I’ll NEVER forget) from my father-in-law during the depths of the Global Financial Crisis
Without a sense of meaning, life can be a senseless grind. Without purpose, there’s just not enough energy to carry you through the periods of stress, uncertainty, failure and burnout.
One source of meaning that’s helped carry me through the hard times is what I call the cult of paying dues.
I have come to believe that there is always growth (like building muscle), new insights, and personal transformation on the other side of the valley of misery.
So, when I’m getting kicked in the teeth, I’ve trained myself to smile (with my newly busted incisors) and say: “This is exactly the challenge that I asked for. Now, what do I need to learn?”
In some super-dorky, Island of the Misfit Toys way, the cycle of a new challenge, suffering, resolution, and growth feels to me like the cycle of a life well lived.
Some of my favorite books which have helped me to find meaning while clawing my way through the valley of misery are:
- Find a Way: The Inspiring Story of One Woman’s Pursuit of a Lifelong Dream by Diana Nyad
- When Breath Becomes Air: What Makes Life Worth Living in the Face of Death by Paul Kalanithi
- The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph by Ryan Holiday
- The Dip: A Little Book That Teaches You When to Quit (and When to Stick) by Seth Godin
- Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth
If you are interested in engaging further in this conversation, I’d love to go on the journey with you. Please subscribe to my FREE newsletter/blog. The link is at the top of the page on a desktop browser and at the bottom of the page on a mobile browser. Also, please follow me on Twitter, connect with me on LinkedIn, and post a comment below. I’d love to know what you think.
Jaison,
An interesting and thoughtful look a every day life. You are very correct in acknowledging that “Life’s bitter bills” often make you stronger and wiser. I like to dwell on the positive side of live, making Lemonade out of lemons. Good luck on the blog.
PM
Thank you, Peter! You are definitely one of my role models for making lemonade out of lemons. Give my best and warmest to Kathy!
Spot on in many ways as people navigate the challenges in their personal and professional lives. I have experienced getting kicked in the teeth many many times (even while residing in leadership roles), while realizing that paying your dues along the journey is the most humbling experience. I like to think of “paying your dues” is actually contributing to the greater cause.
The biggest challenge I think we have in the new crop of young professionals coming into the marketplace is they do not know what it means to “pay your dues”. They want immediate satisfaction – I notice this behavior when mentoring startup CEO leadership more than anything…
Thank you for your writings Jaison – Keep them coming!
What would you do if everything in life was just perfect? I’ve asked myself that when I turned 50.
It would just be boring!
If you’re not challenged in your daily life as an adult, it becomes a typical day where you won’t mind being a toddler having all your wants and needs met.
Young adults are thirsty in their quest to achieve, sometimes we look at them as a thorn and not really ready embrace their eager appetites.
Age brings reason.
At every milestone we can look at how we fail or prevail in the worst of times. We all get our fair share 😆 eat crap or die whining!
Good one Jaison!
Thank you, Carol! Couldn’t agree more.